Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Put Down the Snickers and Step Away from the Candy Dish

Slowly...alright, now slowly turn around and step out of the kitchen altogether. Good girl. Now, I want you to go to your room...no, don't be looking back at the kitchen, there is nothing there for you..focus....good job. Okay, put on your running clothes. No, those are your lounge-around-the-house clothes. What? You think I don't know the difference? I've been around the block,you know. Stop complaining cuz I don't care. You've been a lazy ass for a week and it ends today. Now go! Good, we're making progress here. Yep, that outfit will do. Sure you don't want to wear a tank top instead? Well, I hardly think the middle finger was a necessary response. Get dressed. I said, GET DRESSED!! Alright, get your shoes on. Nope, not taking Wilson for a walk but nice try getting out of your run. Once again, I've been around the block. Get your watch and iPod. Whatever.....you freaking know where it is so stop acting dumb. Sigh. Middle freaking drawer. You are starting to piss me off. Okay let's go. Nope-not to the kitchen. No, you don't need a drink, you just want candy. Let's go. Baby steps, baby steps. Good....almost there.....and here we go!

2 comments:

Jess said...

Very funny!

Nice job forcing the body to cooperate!

Erin said...

Could you pass me some of that willpower?